FOR IMMEDIATE RELEASE, October 24, 2016
Contact: Evan Greer, 978-852-6457, email@example.com
What really caused last week’s Internet outage: technologically illiterate lawmakers
THE INTERNET–Today, digital rights group Fight for the Future launched 1 (844) 294-A-CLUE, a “Tech Support Hotline” for members of Congress who find themselves too technologically challenged to understand the recent cyber attacks that took down many popular websites last week.
“Are you a member of Congress who has been asked to give a TV interview about the massive DDoS attacks that took down ‘the internet’ last week, but have absolutely no clue what you’re talking about? We can help!” the website for the hotline proclaims. “Don’t be like Marsha Blackburn, who went on CNN and gave an interview that makes it clear her level of tech savvy falls somewhere between “says ‘the Facebook’ when she means ‘Facebook’” and “asks her kids how to cut and paste.”
The site offers members of Congress a phone number to reach Fight for the Future’s CTO Jeff Lyon, who “will be more than happy to explain the basics of how DDoS attacks work, and how hastily passing more bad Internet legislation will put us all in even more danger.” It also features a video of Blackburn’s eyebrow-raising comments, where she claims that passing the copyright bill SOPA (the Stop Online Piracy Act) would have prevented the DDoS attacks, and calls the technology experts who opposed the bill “cyberbots,” a term used by no-one serious, ever.
Alongside the tongue and cheek humor, the site links to a series of tweets explaining history of ignorance and corruption in Congressional attempts to address cybersecurity.
“When somebody on the Communications and Technology subcommittee is this shaky on basic facts of technology and Internet policy, it’s no laughing matter. Lives are at stake,” said Fight for the Future Co-founder Holmes Wilson, “If we’re going to get beyond mistakes like CISA we need members of Congress who actually understand this stuff and don’t just pretend to.”